I have been overwhelmed for 3 months now. To those of you who are parents you are probably thinking it is because we have 2 babies to care for……but honestly, that part is easy. I’m overwhelmed with so much love in my heart, so much thankfulness in my spirit and so much Joy in my life that I wish I could truly express it. Samuel and Selah were born May 23rd at 10:01am and 10:02am. Samuel is the older brother, born first. It all started on September 16, 2011; I was lying on the procedure table watching the ultrasound screen as the Dr put two embryos in my womb…..tears streamed down my cheeks. Adam asked “what’s wrong hunny?” my response with trembling lips ” I’m just soooo happy.” I didn’t know if they would survive but at that moment it didn’t matter I had the hope of what was possible. Nine months later, I looked up and saw the Doctor hold up my baby boy and then my baby girl. Lying there this time I just cried being SO overwhelmed realizing my dreams had become a reality and there they were!!!!
It’s hard to explain this “love” that consumes you when you have a child, but my friend Abby asked me to try to explain it to her. The question of “what is this overwhelming love feeling all about when you have a baby?” At first I explained to her that I suppose it’s just that you are looking at this new life and it is your own flesh and blood….but then I quickly realized its not that. It’s that I have a son and a daughter. Realizing that those words Son and Daughter hold so much more weight and power. If I had adopted I would feel the exact same way.
The day they were born Samuel swallowed a bunch of blood on the way out and was whimpering all day. We thought his whimpering/cooing was “so cute” being new parents we didn’t know something was wrong. Toward the end of the night Adam’s intuition kicked in and realized “somethings not right with Samuel.” After calling the nurse several times and the nurse telling us “he’s fine” Adam began holding him and watching him very carefully. Twelve hours after he was born I had my SON throwing up bright red blood everywhere….at that moment I was screaming to the nurses “my son is throwing up blood, HELP!” Samuel spit up the rest of the night and was absolutely fine by the next morning. I share that story to share that at that moment that’s when you truly realize that you will do absolutely ANYTHING to make sure that your Son or your Daughter is okay, safe, protected, loved, nurtured, and well. Nothing else matters in the world anymore just overwhelming love, everything in life begins to pale in comparison.
Since the day they were born I have cried almost everyday out of Thanksgiving. Just talking about them I tear up 🙂 Yes, you can blame it on the hormones but honestly I am just SO thankful. I’ve said it 100 times in my previous blogs, but PLEASE go after your dreams. Don’t let them pass you by, don’t lose hope and don’t give up! “Hope deferred makes the heart sick” Proverbs 13:12 and I am convinced that this world tries to make people stay in a state of hopelessness……thus making a heart sick. Hope is a powerful word and one that doesn’t always come easy, but if you can fight for HOPE then know that you will be VICTORIOUS and you will WIN because the word of God does NOT return empty Isaiah 55:11 “so my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but WILL accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Plus, your heart won’t become “sick.”
Now, I need to talk about them a little bit. They are EXACTLY how I thought they would be. Selah is definitely all girl and starting to be all Sass, and Samuel is my little thinker chill bug. Both smiley bundles which can melt anyones heart. Selah was bigger at birth 7.12lbs and not surprised at all because she dominated the womb the entire time. Samuel was 6.15lbs. Now at 3 months Samuel is a brick already 🙂 He is growing so fast and is longer and heavier then sissy. I think twins are easy, honestly. If I could have a wish, I would wish for twins again with my 2nd pregnancy. Hehehe, I know you think I am crazy, but honestly it’s all I know and I feel like Adam and I have it under control. Granted, I have been blessed with what most people would consider “easy babies.” They truly only cry to communicate something but other then that easy breezy. Selah has started squealing at the top of her lungs….which can border line shatter glass and Samuel has started giggling. They are now both in the nursery in their separate cribs and are sleeping 12-14 hours a night with 2 feedings. Oh…the sleep DEPRIVATION at first…”oh me, oh my”…..seriously, that was NO JOKE! I have never experienced such exhaustion in my ENTIRE life. The first 4-8 weeks was a complete blur for both Adam and I.
I have to do a little plug on my husband Adam real quick especially to let SeSe and Sammy know how amazing their Daddy is. I had a c-section and for those of you who know, its a very tough recovery (mine has been exceptionally rough). From the second our babies were born, Adam kicked into Daddy mode and hasn’t stopped since. I don’t say this to upset anyone who wishes their husband would be more apart of the parenting process but to honor my husband and tell my babies that Daddy is absolutely incredible with you two!!! Adam has taken care of them from day 1 without a blink of an eye, I can even be partial and say sometimes better than Mommy. Samuel and Selah LOVE to hear Daddy’s voice, love to give him HUGE smiles, love to dance with him, giggle with him etc… They now watch him everywhere he goes…sometimes I am like “hey guys, Mommy is right here” hehe, but they are enamored with their Daddy and I am telling you the feelings are mutual 🙂
So far in the first three months of their lives we have taken three trips. We love to get out and travel so why not start them young too 🙂 We took them to Myrtle Beach at 1 month for a quick getaway. Then we took them NC to see their cousin dive at Nationals at 2 months. At 3 months we took to them to Chicago for Mommy’s work convention. I doubt we will keep up the monthly travel, but on every trip they were angels! YAY, to children that love to travel too 🙂
I’ll start to wrap this up and end with several videos and pictures if you feel like you want watch/look at. Before I go, I want to say THANK YOU so much for all your love, support, prayers, encouragement, gifts, visits, food, edible arrangements, flowers, hand me downs etc….
Looking back, I would DO everything ALL over again! No matter how hard it was at times emotionally, mentally, and especially physically….those of you who said it would all be worth it in the end “YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!” Statistics say that 1 out of every 10 women are labeled “infertile” and as I’ve mentioned before it is a painful, personal, and private struggle. If you know of anyone that is going through this, PLEASE send them my way. I want to encourage them, talk to them and help them in anyway possible! I want to be that HOPE to them.
Hugs, kisses and lots of love to everyone!!!
Here are just “some pictures” from the past 3 months, I need to download several more to my computer and will get them up on the next post. xoxox